In my small Pooh-like brain, it’s difficult sometimes for me to understand how the world works. I don’t understand, for instance, why others more deserving have been given so little when I have been given so much. Here’s what I mean: Even though there are some pressures, it’s for the most part relatively easy being a white male in the U.S. today. I’ve often wondered how I would have fared had I been a minority, and the bottom line is it’s a safe bet that two attributes (entirely out of my control) have assisted me as much as any work I’ve done or quality I might possess: I’m white and a male. I don’t have much sympathy for the few white males (and the occasional female) who seem to think that they own the world, or the world owes them something, when in fact they’ve been given so much. Along the way, you make exceptions, you forgive and you carry on. Toleration over intoleration. Besides being white and male, our family is fortunate to have two healthy children. It’s true when I say that I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a child with a disability or some other permanent health issue. Naturally, you would love your child no matter what, but it would just have to be so difficult in so many ways … again because of my Pooh-like brain, I imagine the worst. I take comfort in knowing that in the same way that people overcome other obstacles in their lives, like gender and race, it’s possible to overcome disabilities. Just because you have a physical disability, doesn’t mean you can’t be productive or fulfilled. Most of us normally-functioning adults are disabled in some way or another anyway – by things like poor attitudes, laziness, pettiness, pride and so on. If you are feeling among the fortunate, you might consider going out to Camp Friendship and taking one of their “Friendship in Action” tours. There on the east side of Clearwater Lake in a resort-like setting, you will find the camp serving “children and adults with mental retardation and often in combination with other disabilities such as hearing and visual impairments, autism, epilepsy, brain injuries, attention deficit disorders and an array of syndromes.” They may not want your sympathy, but they would take your empathy (put into action) in terms of donations, volunteering and spreading the word about the camp and its facilities that serve about 3,000 people a year. I’ve been out to Camp Friendship a few times over the years; the camp has done a commendable job of keeping us informed on their activities. My relationship with Friendship Foundation president Ed Stracke goes back quite a ways. When I took the “Friendship” tour in June I was amazed at how much the camp had improved from another visit a few years ago. Ed told us all of the interesting history of the camp, while campers and counselors went about their business. He gave us anecdotes and stories of the campers and what it means for them to spend a week on the lake. For one, he emphasized how difficult it is for any parent to be away from a child for a week, and that it can be even more difficult for parents of CF campers. The camp provides a safe haven for campers and a chance for mom and dad to catch a break. Ed said that while our day-to-day lives tend to be pretty routine, a person with a disability has even more routines. The camp is truly something campers look forward to each year. The camp has a $3 million budget but because of in-kind donations it produces $4 million in services. Volunteers (1,100 of them) provide 73,000 hours of services (including service clubs, the CF auxiliary and others). The camp offers many different programs that break down into three areas: summer and winter resident camps, respite care and travel services. Friendship Ventures, the overall operating unit, also operates Eden Wood Center in Eden Prairie. Camp Friendship is beautiful. It has a northwoods flavor as the wind blows across Clearwater Lake and rustles the needles of the pines and leaves of the old forest trees. Volunteers and volunteer groups have updated and remodeled the grounds, but there is always more work to be done. While Ed said a lot of remarkable comments on the tour, the most remarkable (in this white man’s opinion) was this: It’s not them, it’s us who don’t get it. He said it somewhat like this: When we see a person with a disability act out we might get upset if they exhibit behavior that we’re not used to or don’t think is appropriate. “They can’t express themselves the way that we can. They’re doing what they know best. We’re the ones who need to understand.” Ed is correct. We think we know it all, but we are the ones who need to understand. We, who have been given so much, could do better. My Pooh-like brain doesn’t allow me to understand a lot of things, but a couple things I do understand. I’m glad there are folks like Ed, FV president Georgeann Rumsey and the staff of Friendship Ventures who have made it their mission to assist children and adults with disabilities. They have made it their life’s work to give parents a break by providing a safe environment and a rewarding, memorable experience. I’m glad Camp Friendship exists – that almost 40 years ago a group of parents got together and started the camp (the former Beecher’s Resort). I don’t need to understand how the world works, but occasionally I need to be reminded of how fortunate I am and how much should be expected of me and those who have been given so much. Give FV a call, 274-8376 or 800-450-8376, take the tour and share whatever “act of kindness” you can. Perhaps you can give an in-kind donation, money, volunteer for a day or a week. It’s not them. It’s us.
Camp Friendship tours will be given on Aug. 6, 10, 12, 13, 17, 19 and 20. Generally, the 75-minute tours are at 10:30 a.m. on Tuesday, 6:30 p.m. on Wednesday and 1 p.m. on Sunday. Call 320-274-8376 to schedule a tour.
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