I opened my Internet this morning to the following helpful list: "18 Slang Words That Will Make You Sound Old." And I said to myself, "Well, far out!" No I didn’t. I never say "far out." Actually I think what I said was, "Do I sound old?" I do say that, and with increasing frequency. But it turns out that, while I may sound uninformed and out-of-touch, I do not sound old. So there.
Of the 18 old-fashioned phrases, I only use two regularly. I occasionally refer to people who are in a close relationship as "tight." And I have been known to "raise the roof" now and then. I’ll start calling it "ranting and raving" if it means I’ll sound young and hip when I’m doing it. (And yes, I know no one says "hip" anymore. It’s still okay to say "young" though.)
I never use five of the 18 phrases, but I understand what you mean if you do. When you say you’re "stoked," I know you’re excited. When you call me "salty," I know you think I’m ornery. And when you say "my bad" I know you’re apologizing, which is the right thing to do after calling me salty.
I know "peace out" means goodbye, but I honestly I thought we said peace out to it a long time ago. And I’m not sorry to hear "chill pill" has gone the way of the poodle skirt. I’ve always thought telling someone to take a chill pill is as useful at calming them down as telling them to calm down is, which is to say, not at all.
I’m embarrassed to say, I hadn’t even heard of most of the 18 outdated slang terms. Apparently, "cool beans," which means something is cool and not just beans, has been around more than 40 years and I only recently heard it for the first time. Now it’s too late for me to use it. Dagnabbit. (It’s probably too late for me to use that too.)
Hecka/hella (really), fo shizzle/fo sho (for sure), dilly-o (what’s the deal) and shiznit (something I can’t say in this newspaper) have all become fashionable and then unfashionable without me even noticing, much like bubble necklaces and sheer maxi skirts. You didn’t know those were ever in style? Neither did I.
I thought I knew what "trifling," "crib," and "home skillet" meant. Turns out they mean "dishonest," "house," and "friends" in that order. At least that’s what they mean to all the cool people who suddenly sound old.
I thought "fetch" meant to get something and bring it back and "fly" meant to, you know, fly. Apparently they’re both synonyms for "cool." In other words, you sound fetch if you say "fly" instead of "groovy." Or rather you did. Now you sound old if you say either one of them.
And speaking of cool, you sound old if you use its synonym "coolio" which, apparently, up until recently was hecka fetch to use.
It’s hard to keep up. Words and phrases come and go like hair styles and skirt lengths. That’s why it’s refreshing to know one word never changes. According to my research, "cool" is still hot – and fetch, fly, fab, coolio, groovy and awesome. Everyone from the Urban Dictionary to the New York Times agrees it’s still cool to say "cool." So take a chill pill home skillets. Peace out and stay cool.
"Around the Bend" appears regularly in the Advocate and about 25 newspapers in the Midwest, including the Rapid City Journal. Rosby, Rapid City, S.D., lives with her husband and college-age son. Her book "I Used to Think I Was Not That Bad and Then I Got to Know Me Better" is available at the Advocate. For more on Rosby, visit www.dorothyrosby.com.