The marks lasted for days – imprints from the hands of people holding her back – their longevity testifying to the force that was needed to keep Mary Beth Ebert from plunging into the raging waters of the deadliest tsunami in history to save her family.
The memories, carefully guarded, have scarcely faded.
"Watching your family submerged in angry waters, being dragged down by the current and struggling for their lives while trying to prevent being smashed against the rock cliff was horrifying," she said.
Ten years to the day – the minute even – that huge waves swept ashore in Thailand and other Indian Ocean countries, killing nearly 230,000 people, the Annandale lake family of Dick and Mary Beth Ebert returned to the island beach where they were vacationing when the Dec. 26, 2004, tsunami struck.
It was an important anniversary trip for the family, including adult children Bobby, 33, and Michelle, 29.
"For me it was great to go back and see the country-islands of Phuket have recovered from the devastation," said Bobby. "Although always grateful of my family, it re-solidified the fact that we could have had our last day together 10 years ago. I look forward to many more years together."
Surviving the waves
The day of the tsunami the Eberts were on a boat tour of several islands near Phuket. Their first stop was Maya Bay on Phi Phi Leh Island, the same location where the Leonardo DiCaprio film "The Beach" was filmed.
Michelle and Bobby, then 19 and 23, were swimming when the water suddenly began receding from the horseshoe-shaped bay, which is bordered by sheer stone cliffs hundreds of feet high. The water pulled them about 125 yards further out to sea, but when they came to rest it was only ankle deep.
Dick was coming out to take a photo of the pair and the strange phenomenon when a huge wall of water came sweeping back into the bay, hurling all three toward land.
Closer to shore huge, unrelenting waves combined with a powerful undertow kept them trapped in the surf.
An ongoing struggle to stay at the surface eventually wore Dick down to the point that "drowning was a very real and acceptable fate," but Bobby was eventually able to help drag him to shore, and all three struggled to join Mary Beth on higher ground.
Other swimmers had been sucked out to sea in the moments before the tsunami arrived, and surging waves sent the survivors fleeing for higher ground before eventually subsiding.
When the family eventually returned to the main island of Phuket and their resort, the devastation was overwhelming. They were able to return to the United States on Jan. 2.
Return tour
Last month, the family members made a point of returning to their old resort at Patong Beach in Phuket to attend a 10-year memorial service.
"The resort we had stayed at in 2004 had been wiped out. However, it has been totally restored and we stayed there again this December," said Mary Beth.
In fact, they stayed in the same hotel, on the same floor, one room away from their 2004 room.
"You get these different creepy feelings, these flashback things, of what happened," said Dick. "Here the four of us were with our bags marching up to the same deck that we were on 10 years ago. So you’d get every once in a while these creepy flashbacks. Your brain just kind of triggers that. I think we all experienced those different things at different times."
There was a brief debate about whether or not to take the same boat tour back to Maya Bay on Dec. 26, but all agreed to go. The tour service even reversed its itinerary for the day so the family could be at Maya Bay by 10:15 a.m., the same time the waves arrived in 2004. The timing was perfect, and they arrived back at 10:12 a.m.
"The beach experience was a bit emotional, but it was great closure to go back and have a big family hug on the beach," said Michelle.
"Being physically able to return to Maya Bay in Phi Phi Island at exactly the 10-year anniversary – to the minute – was awesome," said Mary Beth. "We each remember the beach and surroundings differently; some thought it looked larger, others smaller. It makes no difference. It was important we were there together physically and emotionally. Others would not quite understand the significance. Our group hug still makes me emotional."
Later the Eberts returned to Patong Beach for an evening memorial service that featured music, candles, and hundreds of Chinese lanterns floating into the sky.
"Much to my surprise, the ceremony was quite calming," said Michelle. "There were lots of sand sculptures with white candles lining the beach. People of all ages and cultures were lighting candles, sitting together in groups and walking around. As a family, we lit candles and released a Chinese lantern into the sky. This provided great closure for our family, but was also a very sad reminder of the hundreds of thousands of lives that were lost."
"Clearly the people who came to this memorial service were there for a reason," said Dick. "They had lost family members or friends. So that’s what made it really special. You could just feel that people were there for a reason, not just because it was another tourist attraction, although from a lighting standpoint it was kind of spectacular."
Mary Beth said the evening was bittersweet – a somber time for those mourning loved ones, but a time of thankfulness for the Eberts.
"It was wonderful for the four of us to be able to celebrate the occasion, to celebrate life and being a family," she said.
Indelible images
In the aftermath of the tsunami, Dick had captured the scenes of destruction on camera. Vehicles had been launched through storefronts or been stacked on top of one another, resorts were buried in debris and every imaginable form of destruction was present.
Dick and Mary Beth had returned briefly to Phuket in 2008 and nearly all the damage had been repaired. By the 10-year mark, not only had the surviving buildings been rehabilitated, but development of newer and bigger hotels had boomed and tourism was stronger than ever.
Still, as they walked the same streets that had seen such devastation in 2004, the family couldn’t help but superimpose those unforgettable scenes on the present prosperity.
"Every once in a while you’d walk by a hotel. The hotel and the pool don’t look much different, the color is the same, but I could just see this car wedged in there," said Dick. "But obviously it’s gone now, so it was one of those weird sensations where you walk along and go, ‘I remember what was there.’"
Oddly enough, the Eberts did not encounter many others who had experienced the tsunami firsthand. Even among the staff at the hotel, there was no one who had been working there 10 years ago.
"The biggest thing that surprised me is that of the many people we talked to about our experience, nearly no one had a first-hand account," said Michelle. "I kind of assumed that we would hear more experiences of others. Also, when we did talk to people about our experience, they were just as interested in the story as people are back home … another reminder of how lucky our family really is to have survived the tragic event."
Lingering impact
If there is a positive side to having gone through such an other-worldly scenario, it is that the Eberts experienced it together.
"Our family has always been extremely close, but surviving the tsunami increased that bond," said Michelle. "Ten years ago, Bobby and I often talked with each other about our experience. It was how we coped."
Dick said he has some understanding about what those dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder feel.
"I think we’ve all adapted. You move forward, but it’s just below the surface. You kind of bury it and don’t think about it on a day-to-day basis. Then every once in a while something will trigger it. I can’t watch any movies or documentaries on the tsunami. I just can’t do it, because it all comes roaring back."
On one occasion, Dick was in a movie theater when a scene occurred where a father and two children were struggling to survive after being trapped in a body of water.
"I’m telling you, I thought I was having a heart attack," said Dick. "It was just complete physical and mental meltdown. I rushed out of the theater. So there is stuff like that every once in a while."
Helping where possible
Members of the family were humbled by the selfless actions of the Thai people who helped them return home soon after the disaster, even while some were missing close family members or had their homes destroyed.
"We were in ultimate ‘survival and flee’ mode," said Bobby. "I felt we should have done more to help pick up the pieces."
While the family was ill-equipped to help with search and recovery efforts on scene, they wasted no time seeking funds to aid their benefactors after returning home. Bobby and Michelle conducted drives at their schools, and arranged radio and newspaper interviews for Dick to tell the family’s story and seek aid for the Thais.
Ultimately, thousands of dollars were raised and sent directly to the Patong Rotary for rebuilding. Some of those funds were used to build an orphanage for children who had lost their parents in the tsunami.
"(It) allowed us to feel like we could give back to the caring and wonderful community," said Bobby.
Returning to find that shattered lives and livelihoods have been rebuilt a decade after the tsunami was gratifying, and a fitting way to remember a day that could have ended much differently for the Eberts.
"We’ve always been a close-knit family, so returning for the 10-year anniversary was a very important event," said Mary Beth. "There were moments of tears, lots of hugs and many unspoken messages among us."
"It was probably our last family trip with just the four of us," said Dick, explaining that Bobby and Michelle are now building their own careers and Bobby was married last fall. "We were really glad we went."
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