Do you know that: – Approximately 5 percent of children nationwide will experience the death of a parent before they reach the age of 18? – 1.9 million youngsters under age 18 (or more than 2 percent of American children) have had one or both parents die? – 19 percent of children show serious problems at one year, and 21 percent at two years after the death of a parent? Pretty sobering statistics, huh? When my husband died in 2001, I didn’t know any of these facts but I watched them play out in my home through the life of my stepson, 15 years old at the time. I had some skills, contacts and tools to move through the grieving process, but I was at a loss for how to help Christopher. For nearly two years I watched him struggle, withdraw, numb and isolate himself. I recognized these behaviors well because I adopted them myself at times in my own grief. Just engaging him in a conversation of any substance was nearly impossible. While there are countless books on "how to" grieve, they seemed clinical at best, not pertinent to our lives. I wanted tangible tools to help Christopher work through his feelings and express himself. Without knowing what else to do, I let him know he was loved, he wasn’t alone, and that he could talk to me about anything … anything at all. Sometimes he did. Mostly he didn’t. As we acknowledged the two-year anniversary of his father’s death, the loving, open, talented Christopher I knew began to emerge from the darkness. He was somehow different, certainly stronger, but scarred as well. Frankly, we were lucky he returned to us intact. About the same time, I learned about Camp Amanda, a camp for grieving Minnesota kids and youth, sponsored by the Minnesota Foundation for Children. This program operates solely by donation and volunteers – and provides something of immeasurable value: a safe place for kids to grieve. I took the opportunity to participate in Camp Amanda as a counselor, leading a group of six young girls ages 8-10. During our weekend together, we played, talked, laughed, cried and shared, not just as "counselor and campers" but as fellow travelers in the journey of grief. We also shared a sense of gratitude for Camp Amada and those who made it possible for us to attend. We all received so much that weekend. I will never forget Camp Amanda. Nor will the campers and other volunteers. In fact, one of my campers still corresponds with me today, 31/2 years later. When I met her she was nearly shattered by heart-breaking circumstances. Today she is an honor-roll student, an excellent athlete and the proud owner of an adorable new puppy. I believe this was, in part, because of Camp Amanda. So, you may be asking, "What can I do to support grieving kids?" The answer is plenty! In an effort to raise awareness and funding for Camp Amanda-Minnesota, The Minnesota Foundation for Children will be embarking on a 450-mile tour of Minnesota – on horseback. Foundation members Art Dingmann and Jerry Brown, both avid horsemen, will ride horseback from Winona through Rochester, Owatonna, Mankato, Glencoe, Cokato, Annandale, St. Cloud, Brainerd, Carlton and finally finish their trek in Duluth. The journey will begin April 9, and finish on approximately May 3. There will be at least 20 stops along the way where local and MFC spokesmen will speak to the media about the need to help children going through grief. They will also share how Camp Amanda-Minnesota is providing an encouraging environment and support network to children who have experienced the death of a parent, sibling, grandparent or significant friend. Please consider supporting Camp Amanda and the Horseback for Hope by making a pledge today. Donate online at www.horsebackforhope.org. Or send donations to: Horseback for Hope Rider Pledges Minnesota Foundation for Children 9859 19th Ave. North Plymouth, MN 55441 For more information or to ride along with Art and Jerry, please contact Maureen Boro at 507-236-6735 or dboro@frontiernet.net for more details. Visit us online at www.campamandaminn.com Help bring hope and healing to Minnesota’s children.
Elizabeth Cabalka, Annandale, is an author and public speaker. Her book, "Wednesdays at the Fluff ‘n’ Fold" is available locally.
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